Expect the Expected

(Photo creds to flat 1J).

We’re all amongst exams and the sweet smell of summer is just around the corner. The prospect of the wonderful summer is at the forefront of our minds, even though it should probably be the subject of whatever exam you are currently procrastinating revising.


However for some of you are perhaps looking forward to starting university or college in September and may be wondering what it’s really like. Well, my wondrous people, as I have officially finished my first year at university I am about to impart my wisdom and give you an insight into what to expect from further education and most specifically living in halls.

I can say only one thing before I share with you the words of my friends, colleagues and myself;

Expect the expected….


What happened to you when you realised you were a university student?

Buying Morrison’s own bread and realising that there is actually a difference branded and own-brands.

Having the independence to buy whatever you want, and realising after a few months that you can’t function on a diet of only vodka and frozen pizza.

Trying to figure out how to have a balanced diet consisting of pasta and chicken.

Figuring out there’s a defrost button on the microwave.

Curing a hangover by drinking more.

Checking out academic books from the library and quoting such and such et al in an essay.

Trying to figure out Harvard referencing.

Looking up online referencing tools and realising they’re useless.

Waking up in the morning not having a single clue what happened the night before and being too scared to ask your new friends what went on.

The first time you see your fresher’s hook up and have to pretend it’s not at all awkward when really you’re dying inside because you didn’t actually realise how much you regret that one.

Realising it’s the best place to get over a heartbreak.

Staying up till the 1am deadline and handing it into turn-it-in at 12:57.

Turning up to morning lectures with last night’s make-up.

Living in a general shitehole.

Mixing whatever alcohol you have left because waste-not want-not.

Making friends by holding their hair back in the toilet at the club.

That bathrooms don’t clean themselves.

Wasting all your food when you come home drunk.

Thinking that drunk food can be eaten sober.

Hooking up with someone in freshers and never speaking to them again.

Knowing you can do what you want because your parents can’t tell you otherwise.

Getting an email saying you are £800 behind on rent whilst food shopping.

Trying to budget but just winging it.

Winging it.

Always winging it…..


I hope you feel enlightened now.


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