Love – An after thought.

As a noun love is defined as a strong feeling of affection. As a verb – a great interest and pleasure in something.

In the end we’re all just small creatures in a big world.

                                                                                                ~ Nicola Yoon (Everything, Everything)

Except love doesn’t make you feel like that, love makes you feel like you are the biggest creature in the smallest world. You feel invincible together, with the person you love. Love takes over, all-consuming. Your heart and worse, your head can focus on only that person. Not just that person; but every single part of them, every inch of their body, their smile, their smell, the way they walk and talk, things they say, how they look at you, how you make them laugh, the good and the bad and the ugly, as well as everything in between.

There is no stopping it. That’s the worst part. Love takes over, you have no control over it. It’s a disease worse than death, which no amount of medicine and treatment can fix. Love itself may not be able to kill you. However it makes you feel like you’re dying even though you cannot. A drug you will never be able to have enough of. As it progresses, you can only learn to live with it. That doesn’t mean the love lessens. It continues to grow stronger. When it does, it becomes a dance between two people who don’t love anything more than that other person. There is willingness and understanding, hope and trust, that that person will never leave you side, not until the day you or they dies.

But then. Then it comes. All at once. Once again all-consuming. Like the ocean crashing down on you. Heart break is the final and can often be the lengthiest part. Everything you do and see, it reminds you of them. Places that seemingly had no significance, has now, all sorts of meaning that you didn’t even know was there. One smell or noise can trigger countless memories. A song can transport you through time. All of your thoughts are still of them, but of memories that will never be added to. Times and laughs that will never happen again. Experiences that will never be experienced. Plans that will never be followed through. Promises that will no longer be kept. A love that will never progress to anything more. A single flower that has been left to wilt, for its petals to fall and for it to die. It seems as though it will never end, and that is the scariest part. That you will always be broken and terrified to love again, just in case it happens all over again.

But see, that’s the thing, it will happen again. Heart break is never ending. It happens all the time. I mean my heart was broken just last night, watching The Dressmaker (I’m not about to spoil it, sorry). That doesn’t mean I’m going to give up all hope of it ever getting better. It always will – get better that is, the heartbreak will end. And the new memories will begin.

Even though heart break is inevitable, so are the good memories. Besides once you begin to make new memories the old ones begin to fade and are replaced with new ones. The thing is, each time you love it will be different, and no one love is going to give you the same experiences or ideas as any of the previous or future loves. Something new will emerge from each one. You have to trust me on that. Whether it be a new way of life or a phrase you now use. It will always shape you for the next one.

That ladies and gentleman is my take on love.

Love means so many different things to different people. It’s impossible to just categorise it as one thing. I am no god, (I mean pretty close but still) so how can what I think is right, be right. I can’t can I? And so I asked people in my life, to see what they thought love was. From all experiences, some good and some bad, some conventional and some less so. You never really know what people think love means, some are believers and some are not. Which is particularly interesting in itself. So on with the show, my good people and see.

One girl who has loved for long but is still young believes its caring about someone else to the extent that you put their needs equal to your own and in some ways higher. Love doesn’t just go away. Love needs patience and trust because sometimes you may have fleeting emotions of dislike but you work through it for love. Love is wanting the other person’s quality time but forgiving if they are busy. Love is listening to their partner’s favourite song on repeat even though they hate it. Love is the little things and thinking they matter.

A hip-happening 14 year old thinks it’s like when you just wanna chill with someone all the time and you can’t stop thinking about them and all you want to do is see them and speak to them a hug them so hard they choke to death.

One sad lesbian thought that Love is completely giving your heart to someone, probably the most terrifying and dangerous thing you could ever do, but what’s life without taking risks? When you love someone, their flaws end up being your favourite thing about them. Being loved by someone makes you feel safe, happy, and at peace. I’m going to be honest; the reality of the situation is that it can also destroy you. Love is the most addictive and most damaging drug that someone can ever submerge themselves in. If you’re going to go for it, make sure you’re with someone who won’t hurt you.

A girl who looks Asian and kind of is; Love is when you take a step back from yourself and realise that even when you’re apart, there’s a little piece of the other person in everything you say or do.

A guy who changed his name thinks love is a feeling of fulfilment. That once you’ve found love, you don’t need anything else. You just want to be with that person and make them happy. Love is when you really care for someone more than you care for yourself.

An Irish guy who holds toothbrushes in pictures says love is a strong connection that only specific people can share with specific people. It’s more than a feeling it’s like an inspiration to the partner.

Someone from a far-off place thought that it’s accepting each other the way they are and not having to change at all and no one is forcing that person to change. It’s a deep connection you don’t feel with anyone else, just that one person. You can’t get tired or bored of them, ever. You can’t stay mad at them or hate them even if they piss you off. They are the one you think about when you wake up.

Someone who has experienced the strength of love says; it’s not worrying what you look like because they think you’re always cute. It’s hating them but loving them at the same time. It’s the first person you want to speak to when something good happens or when something bad happens. It’s when someone makes staying in so much more good than going out (I LOVE going out). It’s when you can’t look at them without smiling.

As much as love can hurt, it can heal as well. One should never give up the hope of love because they have been hurt as the love that has been lost with one, will be found with another.

Love will always be the thing that keeps the world spinning. Regardless of what happens, if there is love, it is all that will be needed. I could keep going for years about what love is and what it isn’t. But simply love is the strongest force that will ever exist. Whether it is real or not we have all loved, have been loved and that’s the fact of the matter.

Thanks to everyone who helped and contributed to the making of this, I love y’all.


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